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Women Who Behave Rarely Make History

Tuesday, July 21, 2015

8:40PM - Deep in the Heart

I am still alive.

One week until I return to Texas. It's been...eight years or so since I've been back. I plan on meeting up with friends, but more importantly, eating my way across the state. It's going to be glorious. And then I will fangirl out like a dork. I was going to write that it would be the fangirliest thing I've ever done, but then I remembered flying to Florida to go to a con with Rosenbaum. Huh. At least this time, I grew up in the state and have friends there. So, I'll rank this #2 on my fangirl adventures. 

Sunday, January 19, 2014

3:34PM - 20th Annual SAG Awards Recap

Oh look! It's this blog's once a year post.

This was the best year ever. 9 years into this and I’ve finally realized not to take everything so serious and to relax. I’m a volunteer; it’s not like I can be fired if I mess up. I’m also contemplating making this my last year volunteering (we’ll see about that) so I figured it was time to go all out.

I still have the best job - shadowing the head of PR. She has to greet all the nominees when they arrive and then the winners as they exit the stage. I feed her names of celebs she doesn’t know. She was really busy this year troubleshooting, and there was a huge backup on the red carpet so me and my co-worker just started greeting everyone ourselves.

It. Was. Awesome. Everyone (minus Terrance Baby Wipes Howard) was friendly and happy to be there. And since there was a backup, I got to occasionally have an actual mini conversation instead of a quick Welcome to SAG Awards. Good luck. But even those interactions were fun for me.

Clark Gregg canoodled with his wife Jennifer Grey. I spoke to him later during the show and told him I love Agent Coulson and think he's awesome, so I’m pretty sure that makes me an Avenger now.

After all these years, I rarely get starstruck, but I have to admit, I had a little thrill at seeing the Stark children (Sophie Turner, Maisie Williams, and Isaac Hempstead Wright) all together.

Great moments during the show as well. Lupita N’yong’o won and had a mini meltdown backstage. My co-worker had to stay with her while we found her publicist. Obi-wan Ewan McGregor Kenobi called the teleprompter the “auto cue”. We were watching the show in the green room and failed to prevent Tom Hanks from reaching into the trash for what he thought was fresh water. We just didn’t realize what was happening there until it was too late. Sorry, Tom.

Emma Thompson is hilarious and brought flats to wear. I saw her carrying them backstage walking around barefoot so I guess they weren't much more comfortable than the heels she wore at the Globes. Lifetime Achievement Winner Rita Moreno is funny, smart, and a live wire. I’m very glad I got to spend some time with her.

I had to fetch Sarah Hyland bandaids because she was wearing new shoes. She was very appreciative.

I had the most amazing yet horrifying experience where I basically assaulted Jennifer Lawrence (or maybe she assaulted me). Later, I saw her taking a selfie with John Goodman. And I got to escort Cate Blanchett to the restroom. She is very sweet and now we’re BFFs.

The afterparty was fun, the swag bag has some decent stuff this year, and the desserts were delicious.

Back to normal life at the job on Tuesday, but it’s cool that they give us this opportunity. True, it would be cooler if I got to attend and didn’t have to work, but hey, I get the privilege to see all the backstage shenanigans this way.

Current mood: tired and suddenly sick

Sunday, January 29, 2012

10:56PM - 18th Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards

Again? Yes. Wasn't I supposed to have quit and moved and quit some more by now? Yes. Have I? No.

It's that time of year again - my yearly summary of my job's awards show. And since SAG is most like merging with AFTRA, the show might look different next year. (Probably not, but you never know.)

Same job - followed PR lady around, be at her beck and call, and feed her names of the nominees as they arrive so she can greet them. Then, once the show begins, we greet the winners as they come offstage and herd them to the press area.

Let's see, who caught my eye. The Game of Thones peeps. Emilia Clarke (Dany) is prettier in person than I've seen her in pictures. Jason Momoa is a beast. I mean that in a good way. Nicolaj (Jamie Lannister) is hot. Pretty and hot. Oh, and Kit Harington. Also hot. There actually weren't that many cast members present. Probably because they're all foreigners.

Brad and Angelina. I cannot describe whatever it is about them, but - Supernova of Hotness. It just is. Brad was a presenter and he was so nervous. Pacing backstage, practicing his lines. It was cute. And hot.

Rose Byrne is beautiful, but weighs approximately 35 lbs. Ashley Simpson (guest of Vincent Piazza; Boardwalk Empire) is actually quite pretty. Sadly, I recognized several people because of their guests. I knew who the Suits nominee was because his girlfriend is Troian Bellisario of Pretty Little Liars, one of my favorite shows. I was more excited to see her.

Octavia Spencer had a melt down after she won. Don Cheadle (who presented) must've fanned her for at least 5 minutes. And then she lapsed into the ugly cry, and PR lady gave her a hug. But she was very cute. Actually, when The Help won, the whole cast was all yell-y and happy and giddy. It's always fun to see a cast win because they can all celebrate together. Same thing happened with Boardwalk Empire and Modern Family. You say congrats to everyone you can as you herd them along, and it's always fun to see who thanks you and how excited they are.

Clooney? Charming as always. And Stacy Keibler is stunning. And tall.

Jean DuJardin also was overwhelmed after he won. And French.

As we were leaving, Jenna Fischer got her SWAG bag and said it weighed more than her kid. Sadly, while I will always enjoy free stuff, there wasn't a ton of awesome stuff in the bag this year. But as it is free, I'll just shut up.

Food was not for me at the afterparty. No yummy Wolfgang Puck mac and cheese. Sad face. But, as tiring as the whole day was, and as much as my feet hurt - and it's so very, very much - it was a fun night.

I'm sure more will come to me later once I've rested my poor brain. Do you know how hard it is to say Chris Lowell is from The Help and not Veronica Mars? To recognize Kyle Chandler from Homefront which aired a bazillion years ago? To keep calling Lauren Valez "Gina" when you know that's not her name but it might have been a character she played once? To know Mike Vogle because he stood behind you at Best Buy for two hours while we waited to return stuff. And he's the guy that looks like Riley Smith but isn't. It's darned annoying keeping all these folks straight in my head.

But I guess that's why PR Lady loves me and wants me back year after year.  : D

Current mood: tired

Friday, May 13, 2011

8:55PM - A Super Ending

I haven't watched Smallville since Season 4. The year Lana was a witch or whatever; the year hot Jensen Ackles was the ridiculous Jason Teague; the year that even my love for Michael Rosenbaum couldn't make me continue watching this stupid show.

But I tuned in tonight for the series finale, and damned if it didn't make me cry. It didn't take long to figure out what was going on, and I actually enjoyed it. It was often cheesy, but that was part of what I loved about it to begin with. Well, that, and the raging evident lust between Clark and Lex.

If I remember correctly, I have this LJ becauseof Smallville. It was people I met online during the first few seasons who told me I needed to sign up.

So farewell, Smallville. Thanks for introducing me to a ton of cool people, introducing me to Michael Rosenbaum, and being exactly the show I needed so soon after 9/11.

Current mood: nostalgic

Sunday, January 30, 2011

11:14PM - 17th Annual SAG Awards Post Game

I'm exhausted. My back hurts and my feet hurt and my hair is flat, but I had a great time. Same job again this year - assisting the PR Lady.

So, let's see. The red carpet entrance was a complete cluster-fuck. Too many people and the set up was bad. But I did get to see everyone in their pretty finery.

Jesse Eisenberg - total sweetheart and nice guy. Thanked PR Lady for the invitation to attend.

Jennifer Lawrence - just beautiful. Came with Nicholas Hoult. (With Patrick Stewart and January Jones there I was in X-Men character heaven.)

Rosario Dawson - still stunning but what happened to her amazing body. She's dropped a ton of weight. I remember when she was the 'curvy girl'. No more.

Jesus Bale cut his awesome hair. But he was still awesome. I adore him.

Marky Mark brought his own water. No, seriously. He walked in carrying two bottles of some special water. Told someone who asked that he couldn't drink 'that stuff'. I presume 'that stuff' was the Voss bottled water. I kinda love that he apparently just travels around with his own stash of water and carries it himself to award shows.

Paz De La Huerta is a nut job. And possibly high. Or both. But dang, she's kinda weird. And, she looked rough.

During the show, I got to go to the Green Room and see Nicole Kidman and her man hanging on the couch. Mila Kunis chilling and being stunning. LL Cool J talking to Morgan Freeman.

Steve Buscemi was floored when he won followed by Boardwalk Empire's ensemble win. He seemed really humbled by it.

Jon Hamm is just one damn fine, good-looking man. That is all.

The Modern Family cast were super excited to win. The kids were all skipping and dancing around backstage as we herded them to press. I spoke to Ariel Winter (Alex Dunphy) in the bathroom at the afterparty and she was just adorable. Said it was a dream come true to win. Her mama's raising a good girl.

My favorite thing ever to happen so far: As you may know, Justin Timberlake is a bit of a douche. I've not had any bad experiences with him, but I know last year some not very nice things were said about him and the way he treated people. Melissa Leo was coming back from press and passed The Social Network boys. JT stopped her and congratulated her on her win. She thanked him and started to leave, then turned around and stopped him and asked him if he'd ever worked on Homicide. You know, the show she was on, like, 10 years ago. JT was all, 'uhh, no', but not in a rude way. I just loved that she had no idea who he was since I heard he was douchy this year, too. My recollection of it isn't nearly as funny as it was in person.

Amy Adams is crazy sweet and stood backstage during the In Memorium segment. She was all alone so PR Lady asked if she was alright and she replied she was just paying her respects.

Colin Firth's publicist was so excited when he won then The King's Speech won that I thought she might pass out. She was pretty young and completely overwhelmed. I consoled her. But, come on, girl, you're getting giant hugs from Colin Firth. That's amazing right there. We had to hang out with The King's Speech's cast while Geoffrey Rush took a trip to the loo. They were all so gracious and British.

I'm forgetting a hundred other things that happened, but it all goes by so fast. I only stayed at the afterparty long enough to grab a tiny bit of food (not as good as the years in the past - where were my tiny cups of mac and cheese?? Where, I ask!!), have a quick drink, a few bite sized desserts, and grab my swag bag.

Because let's be honest - it's all about the swag bag.

Current mood: tired

Sunday, January 24, 2010

12:19PM - 2010 16th Annual SAG Awards Post-Game Wrap-Up

This might have been the most fun I had at the SAG Awards in ever. My new job was assisting the Head of PR along with my friend/co-worker who's been doing it the last 3 years. I was super nervous because I'd heard she could be snappy and I had to attempt to memorize all the nominees.

Turns out I worried for naught because she was awesome and the job was awesome and it was, in short, an awesome day. I had to be there at 10 am (volunteers who aren't assistants get there around 2 pm) so that sucked. We had a PR meeting where everyone talked about which nominees had to be reseated and couldn't go to press and just going over the logistics of the backstage area. Since I've always been in the actual ballroom during a show (waiting to pull a reseated winner) this was the first time I got to see the backstage mechinations of a show. Very interesting.

Around 2:30 we went down to the red carpet. Niecy Nash was the first celeb to arrive (waaay early, the red carpet was barely open) but I saw girlfriend dancing on a couch at the afterparty when I left at 11 pm, so she was clearly making a day of it. We stood right after security where PR Lady would greet each nominee as they arrived and tell them who she was and if they won the award she would be waiting for them as they exited the stage. She knew the big people, but we would feed her the names and shows of everyone else. It was pretty cool.

Stuff I got to see at that spot:
Justin Timberlake gushing to Morgan Freeman who rubbed the back of his hand on JT's beard.
Skarsgard who is twelve feet tall (or thereabouts).
Alec and Billy Baldwin hanging out talking to someone I can't remember for about 20 minutes before leaving the security area. Then Alec yelling out Billy! when he wasn't following.
My former love Pacey, er, Joshua Jackson just beaming around Diane Kruger. They are very cute together.  
I almost ended up escorting Kristin Bauer (Pam on True Blood) around the red carpet but PR Lady grabbed a TNT person at the last minute to do so.

She was probably able to greet about 80% of the people. And yes, everyone is way too skinny and prettier/more handsome in person. It's disgusting! We tried to wait for Nicole Kidman but had to leave to get backstage b/c Nik was late. I also never saw Mariah Carey/Nick Cannon b/c they got there late too.

Backstage PR lady waits sidestage for each winner and walks them to press. Since I shadowed her, I walked with them too. Or, if it was a large cast (looking at you Glee), we "herded the cats" back to press. I'm not going to lie, backstage was cool. I stood next to Nicole Kidman and Kate Hudson as Sandra Bullock approached them and bitched about how skinny and beautiful they were. Clearly Sandy hasn't looked in a mirror lately b/c she is the same. Also, they are all crazy tall; I know I'm short but it was like an ant looking at a sunflower. Justin Timberlake told Keith Urban he wants to work with him. I also had access to the green room where the presenters wait. There is good food in there.

Drew Barrymore had a meltdown after she won her award. Not in the freakout sense, in the she totally withdrew into herself for over five minutes kind of way. People kept radioing trying to find out where she was, and we kept replying that she needed a few moments to collect herself. She was still back there when Mo'Nique won and came over to watch her acceptance speech with us. Also, earlier in the day, I stepped on Drew's dress. She didn't notice since there were so many people around, but I did it.

And Clooney. He really does live up to the hype. He's tall, hot and very suave. He was the last presenter and closed the show and as he came off stage the photog took a few pictures. And then he almost walked right into me as he commented he had been blinded. Like a few inches away from nose to chest. PR Lady and Producer Lady both thanked him for doing the presenting and we all walked him to the afterparty. He stopped to sign some suitcase for the awards people to auction off and cracked a few jokes while doing so.

The volunteers have to wait until 8:30 to go into the afterparty (translation: until after all the cool people have left) but I had a blast once we did get in. A bunch of Glee, True Blood, Mad Men, Modern Family and The Office people were still there. Along with the aforementioned Niecy dancing on the couch the entire night, the two boys from Modern Family (Rico Rodriquez, Nolan Gould) got their dance on the majority of the night. They were too cute.

Uncle Kracker was the musical guest. Um, yeah. We joke at work on how it goes down every year. It started with John Legend, then Michael McDonald, then Mickey Dolenz, now Uncle Kracker. I swear, next year, it's going to be Rock Band and a karaoke machine. But I ate, drank, got my swag bag and had a blast.

I don't get star struck like I used to (not even with Clooney), but it's still neat to be able to see a bunch of pretty people in pretty clothes that I watch on tv and in movies all the time.

Current mood: tired

Sunday, January 10, 2010

10:21PM - Once Again...

It's that time of year. I'm working the SAG Awards in two weeks. Hopefully, it'll be my last - please let me find a new job, please let me find a new job. I have a different job this year. Well, as of right this second I do; it can always change. It's way more responsibility but also might be more fun. At least, I hope so.

As usual, though, I'm all about the swag bag and free food at the afterparty.

In other me news, I'm editing and revising the book I wrote during NaNo. I hope to submit it to some publishers this year once I'm done. Hey, the worst they can say is 'no', right? Trying to find a new job in this crappy economy is not going so well. Shocking, I know. My car has something majorly wrong with it but cannot be fixed until it dies. Thanks unhelpful dealer guys! I feel super safe driving around Los Angeles in a 2000 lb time bomb.

Goals For 2010:
sell book
new job
move (either apartments or states - either will work)
begin 2nd book

Ehh, that's about it.

Current mood: nervous

Monday, February 2, 2009

6:36PM - 2009 15th SAG Awards

It's a week later, but I thought I'd finally post about my 4th year working the SAG Awards. Same job - announcing arrivals, pulling winners from the audience if they had to be reseated for another award.

Announcing arrivals - Fun. I'm right where the limos drop off everyone and (as my coworker put it) each car contains a surprise. You never know who's going to be inside. Christina Hendricks (Mad Men) and her man, who I loved on a episode of "Undeclared", got there at the beginning and hung around for about 20 minutes canoodling. She's gorgeous, and I love that she looks like she eats more than cocaine.

I think I've become jaded because I wasn't super excited about seeing anyone. Except for "Uncle Jack Bass" Desmond Harrington. I squeed a little when he got there. I had forgotten that he would be with the "Dexter" cast.  Brad and Angie were, again, hawt. Mickey Rourke was high as a kite with a limo full of pot smoke. I was happy to find out Alec Baldwin brought his daughter and not some underage (though very tall) tart as we speculated for a bit.

Most of the women are grossly skinny which really detracts from their beauty, in my opinion. I might understand why they starve themselves, but I find it very sad.

During the show - I didn't do anything. Stood next to Frank Langella and Gary Oldman for awhile. My cohort had to pull Hugh Laurie and Meryl Streep for press. I went to pull Sean Penn, but the show had just ended, and by the time I got to his table, he was long gone. Ended up standing next to Kate Winslet stuck while she was surrounded by photographs. Also, she is stunning.

If you saw the show, you might have seen Meryl Streep running up to get her award like she was the next contestant on The Price is Right. He jubilance continued, and she, and her family, were dancing up a storm at the after party.

After Party - some band with Mickey Dolenz played. They were alright. The food was excellent - or maybe I was just really hungry. No, that Wolfgang Puck mac and cheese is heavenly. Danced a little, had a drink, got my swag bag, then left.

All-in-all - fun and tiring, and if I'm still at SAG next year (please no), apparently, I'm guaranteed my jobs for life.

Current mood: satisfied

Friday, December 19, 2008

8:16PM - Tired and Tipsy

I haven't posted anything in forever.

Work has been insane. We're about to enter into negotiations for the Commercials contract and the prep work is intense.
I've been too busy to hate my job.

I've been too busy to look for another job.
I haven't had any time to relax.

Also, I'll be traveling to New York for negotiations in February. There's a good possibility I'll be there for 2 months.
Paid trip to New York.

It's in February.
Will probably last through the end of March.

In other news, one of my cats died. It was (and sometimes still is) very sad. I miss her greatly. I'm going on vacation to Disney World in less than a month! And then I'll be working the SAG Awards once again this year. Wonder what the atmosphere will be with the possibility of a strike. The ballots will be counted just a few days before the awards. Fun times that'll be.

Saturday, June 28, 2008

2:46PM - When your body fail you

I had emergency gallbladder removal surgery late Wednesday night. Suffice to say, I've had some interesting days lately. Still in some pain but it's better than the 'oh Gods, kill me now' pain I was in most of Wed. 

At least I'm missing all the strike drama at work. Will SAG strike? Don't ask me. I have my opinions on the matter but I should probably keep them to myself. Since they're still my employer and all. 

I think it's naptime.

Friday, May 16, 2008

12:58PM - Visit #3: Diagnosis – Sane


Okay, maybe not. But Dr. Janet did say I was getting better. She said she could tell that some weight had been lifted. I can agree with that; I think it might just be getting some of the anger and pain out. Just talking and not hiding inside myself as much as I used to.


One of her theories (what I call them) is that I have such a hard time taking pills (horrid gag reflex – though only with pills) is because my voice was squelched when I was little, thus blocking that area of my body.


I’m skeptical of everything, so sure, whatever, but here is what I find interesting. When I was around 12 – 13, which were the years that my psyche got really bad and was the time of my first suicide attempt, I remember wanting to just scream at people to see me and my pain. I did things that were a blatant cry for help. And people heard me. However, I was also quite adept at lying and denial. My parents took me to a therapist; I lied right to his face and he believed me.


I wanted help, but I wasn’t ready to accept it. Even as a young teen, I buried things deep and refused to admit it even as it made me a mess. In short, teenagers are weird and are in no way able to make decisions for themselves.


She only did a half session and congratulated me on my teeny baby steps at changing my diet. I did go to the gym. And she told me to save up my energy since I was having gum surgery again.


I go back next Wednesday.

Current mood: sore

Monday, May 5, 2008

9:24PM - Visit #2: Soylent Green is Peeeeepppllle

Note: It's been 2 1/2 weeks since I stopped taking antidepressants. I thought I was doing well, but I am feeling the withdrawals today. I liken it to shivering on the inside. It's a very strange feeling. Weird balance and perception issues - such as I turn my head but it seems like it takes a few seconds for the rest of me to catch up. Kinda like slow motion. 

I went back to Dr Janet today. I sent her an update and my food diary on Saturday evening so she could read it in horror without me watching. I'll be the first to say that my diet is horrible. Most of my eating is done between 11 am - 5 pm, and what food is eaten is less than nutritious. 

For example:

Tuesday, April 29
7-8 am        16 oz (approx) iced tea w/ 4 tblsp sugar
9 am            Newquik chocomilk to take pills (16 fl oz between 9 - 10:30 am)
                      1 Yoplait Plus
11 - 2:30 p    3 scrambled eggs
                       bacon (5 - 6 pieces)
                       cup of mixed fruit - cantaloupe, watermelon, honeydew, pineapple
11:15 a - 5p    Sobe cranberry grapefruit 20 fl oz
(got home at 6 pm and went to bed)
10:30 - 12:30 p    iced tea (x2) with 4 tblsp sugar each

Seriously. I know how bad that is.

So this visit we spoke about eating. Problem is - I'm the pickiest of picky eaters.
Fish?   No. I basically told her anything living in the ocean is out.
Field greens?  Taste like twigs and leaves. 
Spinach?   Uh uh.

But I agreed to try. So she wrote out a list of food items to get (mostly organic) from Whole Foods, Trader Joes and this other granola-y place. No more sugar. No more dairy. 

This will be hard, and there's no way I can just change my diet overnight. But I will make a real effort.

But then, horror upon horrors, she has taken away the news from me. For three days, I cannot watch the news or check out news websites. THAT will be difficult for me. What is something major happens??

I must go breathe now.

Thursday, May 1, 2008

11:46PM - Stark Industries

I've just seen Iron Man. And I loved it. A perfect way to start the summer movie season. 

Jon Favreau should be very proud. I can't think of anything I would change. Perfect casting, perfect length, perfect story. And the sequel tease didn't annoy. It just got me excited for the sequel.

I'm so happy Robert Downey Jr was able to return from his troubled times and come back out on top. I've been a fan for so long though I think Heart and Souls is my fave. He was Tony Stark. Great casting.

And Gwyneth did the best thing for her career when she went away for a couple years. I've now forgotten what grated about her and enjoyed her performance.  

Current mood: jubilant

11:31PM - 1st Visit - Back in the Garden

Having spent the last 20 years in a perisistent clinically depressed state, and the past few months attempting to determine the best way to kill myself with the least muss, I am now seeing a new doctor. She's holistic and was pretty much forced on me by a coworker. That's not a bad thing. I'm going to keep a record of my visits and hopefully, my progress as well. 

I drive just a mile or so away from work into a residential neighborhood and find the house. I start to think it's weird that I'm going to see a doctor in a house and not in an actual office type building. Begin to briefly freak. Suck it up and go.
I go through the gate into the backyard. Almost laugh at this not being the right house and getting arrested for breaking and entering. There's a guest house in the back. Am amused that the entire house and guest house are on a lot smaller than my entire parent's home in WA. Marvel that this is Los Angeles and CAians are weird.
I go around to the front of the house and see a black kitty chilling on the patio. Pet kitty because that's what I do. The door opens and a tiny woman answers and introduces herself. I fill out some paperwork, then she sits and we chat. She's a bit hippiesh but not in a nut way. She talks about focusing on my energy and looking at all aspects of my life. She says she'll throw a lot at me, but then we'll work to narrow it down to do what's right for me.
She asks how the depression is manifesting and I tell her I sleep all the time and I'm obsessive. I'm also kinda stuck - job, home, etc. She says I would have been a good heroin addict and that sleep is probably the better of the two. I muse on this as I've never thought what my drug of choice would be if I had one.
After a bit of talk, she says I've been living in a fog. She's not against drugs, but she thinks my diet is so bad and I've been suppressing all my emotion so the drugs wouldn't work even if they could. She said seratonin (to make you non-depressed) is created in the colon and then travels to the brain. Since I a) don't eat and b) eat crappy food, my colon is all ooky without the good bacteria. So the drugs have to fight through all that to work, and she said I'd have to be hooked up to an IV 24/7 for them to be effective.
We go into a room where I disrobe (but keep all the undies on) and put on a gown. I lay on my stomach and she does a few adjustments on my back. (Her MD is in Chiropracic Care) She begins pushing on different areas of my body and asks if it hurts and how much. I have a bunch of pain on my left booty muscle and near the top of my spine. She tells me I'm hunching over a lot and it's beginning to show - my hump. I tell her my old chiropractor used to have me roll up a towel, place it between the base of my neck and shoulders. She said to start doing that again.

She begins comparing me to a volcano. Saying that the pressure is building up - in my uterine area - but that she doesn't want me to "blow". So she's going to start "poking holes". The whole time, she doing pressure points and making adjustments. I already feel more aligned. She says I have a lot of power in my arms and suggests I join a softball team. I agree but really think that that's not going to happen.
We talk about my nerd quirks and that I'm on the computer interacting with peeps I don't know. She says she won't take away my computer or TV but says I have to get a better chair and tells me about an ergonomic mouse that is upright so you don't get the "mouse hand" that I'm paranoid about. We talk about exercise and that my metabolism is jacked and I'm gaining weight because I'm not eating.
I lay on my back and she presses between the boobs but closer to the left one and it hurts.  A lot. She asks about my tattoos and tells me that they aren't me. Wants to know what I would get if I were to get another. I'm a bit baffled since I picked out the flowers for both of them. She again says they aren't me. She does some more adjustments and talks about being a volcano and compares me to a Hawaiian goddess. Pele. (I need to do some more reading on her.) She says she's going to give me a new name - Pele - and that this goddess is strong, passionate and is tied to the volcano in Hawaii that I can't remember the name of. Pele always makes me think of the soccer player but I vow to do some research tomorrow.
She asks me if I've ever thrown things. I haven't. Hit someone. Nope. Wanted or had shot a gun. Have thought about it but not seriously. She wants me to buy cheap plates and find a place to throw and break them. Apparently these places exist in China. We decide that we would rake the money in if we opened a theraputic place for people to break things.
She asks if I understand everything and agree. I agree. She asks if I would tell her if I did not agree. I say probably not. I then say that the softball team thing won't be happening. But then I think that my friend Jeremy had talked about going to a batting cage and it really interested me. She said there you go. Don't break plates - hit baseballs.
I get dressed. She shows me a bit of info about Pele. And she will eventually want to refer me to a nutritionist/herbologist/somethingist I can't remember and a therapist. But not right now. All those people work on Saturday which is good, but it will cost money. She says to be mindful of my budget but to not be afraid to ask the parents for money. (Heh. Hint.) But I've got some saved so I'm okay for now.
We talk only a tad bit about diet and I explain how picky I am. She says I might end up taking more supplements b/c my diet sucks and I'm picky. I'm going back next Monday. Here's my homework - my progress:
1.    Soak in Epsom salts - need to buy (but she said I didn't have to tonight b/c it's hot here)
2.    Keep a food diary - will start tomorrow
3.    Essential Fatty Acids (Eskimo 3/Natural Stable Fish Oil) - take 2 capsules 3x a day (will start tomorrow)
4.    Test vertical mouse - will hook up tomorrow (she had me take home the vertical mouse to try out/hope I don't break it!!)
5.    Towel roll - will do after I get off computer before going to bed
6.    Go to gym 1 day a week (Sunday in the AM this week) - I think I can manage this one. (She said even if only 30 minutes on treadmill. And if I'm so inclined, go Wed. afternoon, but only focus on Sunday's right now.)
Man, that's a lot.

Current mood: accomplished

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

10:43PM - It Ain't Easy Being Green

Back in the Eighth Grade, I had a kinda hippie-ish Earth Science teacher. I vividly remember her slogan: "Earth Day Every Day." She pounded that motto into our head to the point that my BFF and I still mock it to this day. But I would much rather sit in her class than see what's happening almost 15 years later. 

I am so sick of "Green." Like almost everything that starts out with good intentions, "going green" is now more of a marketing ploy than a movement. An overwhelming number of magazines this month have some article on going green. "Go green with Fido", "How to have a green wedding", "Make your home green." I was surprised I didn't see the music mags with "See How Metallica Lives Green."

How about an article separating fact from fiction? One addressing that cloth diapers can often times be worse for the environment than disposable diapers. I was floored when I learned that in college as was the rest of my class. That organic farming requires far more land to produce the same amount of food as conventional farming. And, if the world switched to organic farming, 10 million square miles of forest would need to be cut down. Touting "carbon offsets" while you jet across the world in your private aircraft does not impress me. It's inane.

Don't get me wrong - I recycle. I occasionally take a bag to the grocery store to use instead of getting more plastic bags, though I reuse those for other purposes also. I'm not for world pollution. I'm just about balance. And truth. Or at least weighing both sides of an issue. The world population, especially the US, is incredibly wasteful, and if we don't curtail our actions, there will be consequences. But I don't want to be told that I now need to eat a "carbon-friendly" diet. 

I'd rather go hang with Kermit. 

Current mood: cranky

Saturday, April 19, 2008

11:53PM - Short and Sweet

I got my hair did today. I love it. My stylist is the best. I've been very lucky to have found 2 wonderful hairstylists in 2 states since I was a junior in high school. I think my hair is one of my good features. Of course, only I would move to Los Angeles and find a stylist 40 minutes outside of the city.

I don't understand the ads for this new "mini" Scarlet. The tagline's great: "The hot new TV series." Um, okay. It's going to be on in two weeks and there's no mention of a station or time. I'm going to have to do some digging at work for more information. 

Saturday, March 22, 2008


I had gum grafting surgery on Wednesday. It wasn't pleasant, but it wasn't horrid either. Going to the dentist has never bothered me. I pop on some headphones and drift into my own world. I almost fell asleep at my last cleaning. 

My gums have receded. Luckily, this was not the result of something I should've done or could've prevented. It's from having braces, grinding my teeth, and being an aggressive brusher. Okay, I probably could've worked on being a more gentle brusher. The pain wasn't too bad; an Aleve took care of that. I've got pink gum junk covering the stitches until next Wednesday. And then in a few weeks I have to have the other side done. 

I've also decided to begin looking for a new job. SAG was supposed to be a temp job until I got my bearings. I just happened to get the coolest boss ever, and she's the reason I've stayed this long. I'm not looking forward to starting over, but I know this is what I need to do. My depression is getting worse instead of remaining stable or improving and changes need to be made. Not fun but necessary. Isn't that how it always is.

Current mood: restless

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

11:11AM - I want a trophy, too

 One positive aspect of living in California: The Oscar telecast starts at 5:30 pm and is over by 9 pm. I hated having to stay up after midnight to watch the whole thing back in Texas. 

This excerpt of a review from Pajiba pretty much sums up my feelings. This town is has such a circle-jerk of self-praise. It's excessive and irritating. I love the pretty dresses and the handsome men as much as the rest of the world. But, there is no need for an Awards SEASON. Awards for TV (daytime and nighttime), film, and stage should cover it. 

But perhaps it's just my cynicism kicking in. I'm getting jaded living out here. 

The Academy needs that satisfaction because the Oscars are, though it’s somewhat redundant to point it out, a celebration of movies picked by moviemakers. In fact, every awards show is just that, a group of people who get together to vote to honor the best in their field. But the Oscars have somehow tricked people into thinking that the Awards are handed down from on high by God or the universe or the ghost of John Ford, when really it’s just a bunch of people who made some movies that have been turned into understandable commercial packages for which votes have been cast in a weird ceremony that uncomfortably blurs the lines between art and competition. The Oscars are a party in honor of the Oscars. 

Pajiba also summed up my feelings over the snub of Brad Renfroe in the Montage of Dead Folk. Not cool, Academy. Not cool.

Perhaps the truest and saddest example of this was this year’s In Memoriam tribute, an annual clip show of actors, writers, filmmakers, and other crewmembers who have died in the past year. The cutoff to be in the reel is January 31, and Heath Ledger’s passing on January 22 guaranteed him a spot in line, though I assume they’d have included him anyway. As the faces of the dead flashed by, the audience applause ebbed and flowed depending on the popularity of the person at the date of their death and their relative star power in general. Ledger, as could have been predicted, was the last to appear, filling the screen in a slowed-down shot from Brokeback Mountain, leaning against a wall in the brown jacket that will forever be married to his memory. It was a weirdly artificial moment, as the Academy put its glorious sadness on display for all to see, and it was only with the passing of time that I and others began to realize that Brad Renfro, who died on January 15, hadn’t been in the package. Was his death too gruesome? Unlikely; Hollywood has never shied away from mourning the passing of its own, no matter the cause. Was his career too old? Again, unlikely; many of the older people featured in the tribute had stopped working long before their deaths, plus Renfro had a role in the upcoming The Informers. For some reason, Renfro was simply overlooked, and though the Academy will probably chalk it up to an oversight and deny whatever intern collated the dead list whatever USC film credit they were earning, it’s hard not to see Renfro’s exclusion as weirdly indicative of the Academy’s whole hang-up with perception. Ledger is just as dead as Renfro, but he’s the kind of dead the Academy wants to hold up to the light. Renfro was a junkie and troubled and dangerous, but Ledger he’s just classy.

Current mood: cynical

Monday, February 11, 2008

11:15AM - Team Spears! But not that Jamie Lynn cuz she should've known better

I am an unapologetic BritBrit supporter. Girlfriend's nuts, but I just want to take her, bathe her, feed her, and help her get sane again. The first few meltdowns were interesting in a trainwreck sort of way, but I no longer get any joy in watching her stumble through life. Plus, I love her new album. 

I only bring her up because she's spending a lot of time at the Millenium Dance Studio. I enjoy this news because it's down the street from my apartment; I pass it daily. And I wonder why BritBrit would come from Malibu (or wherever she's staying) to crappy North Hollywood for studio time. Maybe they have good rates.

I am glad that the writer's strike is seemingly over. No one wins in a strike. I wholeheartedly support their reasoning and demands. If they hadn't taken a stand now, they would have never gotten jurisdiction over new media. I understand that many feel it's not fair for those not making residuals. I, myself, have mixed feelings on the subject as to who gets them, why, when, etc. But I do agree that if payment is generated for the reuse of work, the money should be spread around. And if shows that are placed on the internet (I'm looking at you Ugly Betty) are purely promotional material, why do I have to sit through four commercials? Ford/Valtrex/Whatever is not getting to play their commercials for free out of the goodness of ABC exec's hearts. Someone is getting that money, and under the current way Hollywood is set up, that money should be spread among those who receive residuals. And if I have to straight out pay to watch something, like on iTunes, that money should also be spread around.

Luckily, my department, Commercials, already has jurisdiction over new media. And there is still bitching on a daily basis between the advertising companies/producers/actors on payment. I get that the industry side is trying to contain costs while the talent side wants fair compensation. Everyone has to give a little to get a little. And the industry's insistence that no one knows what's going to happen with the Internets (as they did with VHS tapes back in the day) is ludicrous. Society is not suddenly going to shut down the internet and go back to 8 tracks. Don't act like the Internet is some mysterious void that no one understands. It's not like Laserdiscs or Clear Pepsi. It's fairly clear that it is a medium that will be around for awhile. And whether it's on VHS tape or Blu-Ray or on YouTube or in my iPod or beamed directly into our skulls, it's not going away. It's going to be interesting to see what SAG does in the upcoming months. 

One caveat: my Soap Of Choice (SOC) is General Hospital. Under the current writing regime, it has been sucking big time. Characters are being brutally killed off at an alarming rate, the dialogue sucks, and the storylines are a joke. But since the strike began, the scabs, nay band-aids, have begun to turn it around. Characters are acting consistently again. No one is getting thrown under the bus for no reason. There's cast integration and continuity. It's not perfect, but it's watchable, which I couldn't say 3 months ago. I am scared what the return of Guza will do. I doubt it will be good.

Current mood: thoughtful

Monday, January 28, 2008

10:42AM - SAG Awards 2008


Brad and Angelina ARE that perfect and beautiful. They are a supernova of hotness. Her dress was gorgeous. Preggers? Looks like it. They were snoogly all night.

I want to marry Ryan Gosling and have a million of his babies. Last year, he and Rachel show up in a Prius. This year, he heard fans screaming his name across the street. He was the only celeb to go across the street and take pics and sign autographs. Also, I don't know who he brought with him (maybe a sister), but she was cute and normal looking.

John Turturro tried to give me his ID; he thought I was checking him in, but I was just directing.

Casey Affleck (Afflack) asked me where the bathroom was and where he could smoke. Blair Underwood asked me where the bathroom was. John Larroquette grabbed and squeezed my elbow as he walked past. I don't know why. It was odd. Marion Cotillard's man asked me where they could smoke. She's very beautiful.

At one point, Vanessa Redgrave and Sally Field were basically standing in line to meet Marion. That was kinda surreal.

For the last 20 minutes of the show, Jeremy Piven stood in front of me. I think he looked at my rack a few times. Or he was just looking down at me cuz I'm short.

As hot/pretty as you think (chicks): Rebecca Romijn, Cate Blanchett (she goes either way but she's preggers and luminous), Amanda Bynes, Olivia Wilde (has a fivehead but her features are stunning), Jenna Fischer, Diane Lane, Carla Gugino.

As hot/pretty as you think or maybe hadn't and were surprised: Adrian Grenier (his eyes are that blue), Javier Bardem (who knew? but he had a hot man presence), Justin Chambers (who was smashed), Ryan Gosling, Denis Leary (huh, and his son is tallll), Josh Brolin (Brand from the Goonies??)

There's so many more that I can't remember. My coworker Loy asked Zac Efron if he could get him a drink, and Zac said naw, cuz he's only 20. Awwww. He was sweet.

Ummm, that's all I got. Until I remember more later.

There were a ton of peeps at the after party. Normally, they leave pretty early. But with the strike, they aren't working. When I left, Sara Ramirez (Gray's Anatomy), Ben Foster (XMen 3, 3:10 to Yuma, Alpha Dog), Zac Efron (High School Musical), and Joey Fatone (N'Sync) were still there.

Current mood: tired

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