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you can be my wingman

I have a super cute new dress. A slightly tweaked volunteer position. A vague idea of how I'm going to do my hair and makeup. Yet, I'm less than enthused about tomorrow's SAG Awards. 

My back is going to hurt, it's going to rain which will NOT agree with my hair, and it'll be cold. Mostly, I'm just bitchin cuz I'm nervous. About doing my job correctly, not pissing anyone off, and having fun. But there is the one thing I always look forward to - the swag bag at the end. 

There is one thing I'm completely excited about. Crazy Tom Cruise is presenting. Rebecca Romijn will be bringing her husband, Jerry O'Connell. I hope there's a fight. That'd be awesome. As far as being a fangirl, Angelina is supposed to be there and I love her. I want to see Emile Hirsch, Christian Bale, and Ricky Gervais, and Amanda Bynes. And, of course, Zac Efron cuz he's the dreamiest. (I kid.)  

Well, we'll see what my follow-up post tomorrow or Monday says.

Hey there tigress. I got your message. I'll be at the front of the red carpet (where the peeps get dropped off), and then I'll be in the showroom. But, us lowly folk have to wait to go into the partay, so I might be able to find you after. 

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Fandom Realizations and What I've Learned

Once I became involved in online and real world fandom, I had many ideas about actors and celebrity. How they should be treated and what they thought about their shows, fans, etc. 

And then I moved to Los Angeles and started working at the Screen Actors Guild. Man, my illusions were shattered. I used to get nervous upon meeting an actor that I really liked. I don't know why, maybe just the excitement of it all. The first time I met Michael Rosenbaum at a Con, I couldn't even look him in the face. And now? Chris Rock passed me in the lobby the other day, and I didn't even blink.

But now, I'm around actors every day. Actors of every level and stature. And I used to think that actors must think about their characters and continuity and every little minutae that we onliners think about. They don't. It's a job. I used to wonder why respected actors took jobs on, what I felt were, lesser shows. At a party one time in Texas, I met Harry Shearer. I asked him why he on Dawson's Creek, a show that I watched but felt was beneath his talent. He said simply - they offered him a job. 

And that's what I've learned. We have around 250,000 people in SAG. Only about 10% actually make a living as an actor. It's not an exaggeration that every waiter and clerk out here wants to act/direct/produce/etc. When I joined up at my gym, the guy asked where I worked. I told him, and he told me he was a member. Who worked at 24 Hour Fitness. 

I've been to countless "Conversations With..." now, a program our Foundation puts on which brings in cast members of various television shows and movies for a screening and talk. Something Jack Coleman (HRG of Heroes) said stuck with me. Someone asked about some of the continuity blips on the show. It was a specific one about when one of the characters flew to Texas, how there weren't any planes that would have flown into an airport that would have gotten them in at that time. He flat out said for the people who care about such things to get a life. And he didn't say it maliciously. 

And I have to say, it's made my viewing experience a lot better. Yes, it still annoys me when there are glaring errors, but I don't get worked up about it like I used to. Am I a better writer than those who work on any given show? Maybe. But I haven't tried to get hired. It's easy to sit at home and bitch. I imagine it's much harder to deal with budgets, time limits, actor's egos (and oh yeah, do they have them), unions and all the other rigamarole that goes into making a piece of entertainment. 

I saw a clip the other day of two actresses from my favorite soap opera. Now, I am obsessive about this show, and pick it apart on TWOP daily. The majority of the time, I truly think one of the smarter breeds of dog could write better. And yet, as much as I complain, I still watch it. I think that makes me the bigger sucker. Anyhoo, these two actresses were asked about their storyline and about a new spin-off show and fellow castmates contracts, etc. And they knew nothing. They had ideas about their storylines but nothing definite (and yeah, that could be due to confidentiality and not spoiling the show), didn't know if the spin-off had even started airing yet, and didn't know whether an actor that one works with fairly recently had been given a contract. 

That's when it really hit me. It's just a job. A job with great pay and some nice perks. But they're just people who chose to act who have lives and families and busy schedules. They don't have the time nor the desire to pick apart every little thing wrong with their show. And that's okay. I can still do it, but now, it's out of fun. That doesn't mean that I don't think shows should be criticized. I just think, as a fan, I didn't truly realize all that goes in to creating something that's broadcast. 

And like US Magazine likes to say, celebs are just like us! They call, and some are nice (I'm talking about you Alexis Bledel), some are unbelievable assholes (can't tell you how many people actually say 'do you know who I am? yeah, I know, and I don't really give a damn), and many more who are just flat out crazy.

I don't know how much longer I'll stay in this industry. My bleeding heart seems to be dragging me back to working with children, but I intend to have fun while I'm here. And if Sam and Dean drive across Texas in 4 hours, or I wonder, why didn't Peter fly off on his own when he went all nuclear, I just relax and tell myself - it's just entertainment. And if I'm eating at Toast (mmmm....Toast), and some random celeb is waiting for a table just like me, I don't stare, and I don't say anything. They have just as much a right to eat without being disturbed as I do. 

But don't think I'm too jaded. I can still be outraged and bitch my co-workers out when they don't call me to tell me they're eating lunch right next to my hero Mandy Moore and Kelly Clarkson. Especially when I made the stupid decision to run to Target that day instead of going to Doughboys with them. So unfair.

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TAURUS Stunt Awards 2007

Ah boy, did I have a good time. This show should get the Most Fun Award Show statue. That's live, of course, because I saw the edited and cut for television version of the 2005 show and it sucked. I guess it's more fun to watch Josh Duhamel (good Gods he's hot) mess up a line, Kelly Hu being unable to read the teleprompter, or Christina Milian completely blow her part and have to redo her entrance.

But The Rock was funny and charming, they recognized the awesome Jeannie Epper as well as over 100 other stuntwomen, and to top it off, a good friend was one of the ensemble that won the Best Fight award for Pirates 2. And they even performed a fighting gag in costume as part of the show.  Congrats Buddy!!

The after party was even better this year. I got drunk on 1 1/2 drink (yes, that's sad but I hadn't eaten) within the first 30 minutes and spent the rest of the party eating bread and sobering up because I was the driver. I love the stunt community because, for the most part, it's ego free. They aren't pretentious and are really down to earth. I met a bunch of new folks, reunited with a few I hadn't seen in a while, and most importantly, got my dance on. 

I only saw a few "actual" celebs at the after party. (I guess legends in the industry - Henry Kingi, Donna Evans, Terry Leonard {and his hot son Malosi} and George Fisher - don't count.)  Harrison Ford and The Rock were hanging out. I think I saw Elisha Cuthbert, but I'm not positive. But, as I was hanging out with my boss, I see this guy walking towards me. And I think, "huh, that looks like Michael Rosenbaum's BFF Chris who he is never without. But, no, that can't be him, why would he be here?"  And not two steps behind him was Michael himself. All hot and scruffy. But I was good and didn't follow him around the Paramount lot. I quietly squee'd to my boss.

Got home at 3 am. I'm still recovering.

Stunt Golf Tournament - 2 weeks! Yay!

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What I Am is What I Am

Quoting Edie Brickell? What's going on with me?

Anyhoo, the Virginia Tech shooting was horrible. I'm not looking forward to the next week of blame and the whys and hows, and the response from the police, etc., etc. It's extremely tragic, and instead of press conferences where TPTB try to answer questions that have no answers, I wish they would just look at ways to improve student's safety.

But the thing is, these events aren't very predictable. Sure, there are warning signs, but they're usually seen as hindsight. I don't go to work profiling my coworkers to figure out which one might bring in a gun. I've been severely depressed for what seems like the majority of my life, and it has never even entered my head that I would want to hurt someone else to ease my pain. I don't know what the solution is. And I don't know if anyone else does either.


On another note, I forgot to post this info on its appropriate date. On April 10, it was the 40th anniversary of the court case Loving vs. Virginia, which argued that interracial dating should not be illegal. The favorable ruling in June led to other states striking down their racist marriage laws. (On a sad note, the last state, Alabama, only overturned their laws in 2000. Seriously.)

This new lack of law paved the way for my parents getting hitched and then creating me. I don't identify with one race over the other. It's such a non-issue for me. And yet, I still have people questioning "what" I am. I'm a girl. I have white-girl hair. I have thick lips. I've got a perpetual light tan. And just because I'm biracial doesn't mean that saying words or jokes won't offend me. It also doesn't mean they will offend me.

I'm very much a believer in debate and discussion. You can have opinions and theories and beliefs. Just back them up. You can be a racist. It's not against the law. And I have the right to disagree with you. As long as we don't harm one another in any way - physical, financially, etc. - game on.

I've read some rumblings that Loving vs. Virginia is being used by homosexuals in their attempt to get gay marriage legalized. Go for it. And while the following statement can be picked apart for saying "man" and "woman", I think the sentiment, while maybe not intended, speaks for itself.

From the ruling: 

Marriage is one of the "basic civil rights of man," fundamental to our very existence and survival.... To deny this fundamental freedom on so unsupportable a basis as the racial classifications embodied in these statutes, classifications so directly subversive of the principle of equality at the heart of the Fourteenth Amendment, is surely to deprive all the State's citizens of liberty without due process of law. The Fourteenth Amendment requires that the freedom of choice to marry not be restricted by invidious racial discriminations. Under our Constitution, the freedom to marry, or not marry, a person of another race resides with the individual and cannot be infringed by the State.

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My Second SAG Awards

The makeup's off, the swag bag has been explored, I have comfy jammies on, and my feet can finally rest. I'm officially done with my 2nd SAG Awards. In some ways I had more fun this year, and in other ways, it was twice as chaotic. I had the same jobs as last year: talent spotter (announcing arrivals) and stage right talent puller (if needed). And this year, it was needed. I had to pull America Ferrera from the audience and escort her to press. She was lovely.

I'm always amazed at people who are okay or pretty looking on tv who end up stunning in person. This year, I was surprised by Cate Blanchett and Demi Moore. I helped out a young girl from Weeds (first awards show, adorable) and got to talk to Michael Urie (Marc on Ugly Betty) at the afterparty. Plus, I got to get a little bit of my groove on with some crazy (but way fun) winner of Top Chef. And we had John Legend playing.

Random celebs: Chad Michael Murray (ChaMM) and his child bride; Lance Bass. Huh??

Best (well, it's relative) part of the night: The last people to arrive drove up in, not an SUV, not a limo, not a Mercedes. Oh no, they rolled up in a black Prius. I already loved them, but that just kicked it up a notch. The couple? Ryan Gosling and Rachel McAdams.

My faves won: The Office! Chandra Wilson! Grey's Anatomy!
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I need a Hero(es)

I just got home from a Q&A with the cast of Heroes at my job. I love going to their "Conversations with..." series because it's not your typical venue. It's all actors, and while the audience are most definitely fans of the person(s) work, it's not the fannish 'I love yoooouuuus' or 'In Episode 427, you said blah, blah, blah.' Because it's only focused on the acting experience, the actors are more down to earth and open.

It was no different with this group. The majority of the cast was there: Santiago Cabrera (Isaac Mendez), Adrian Pasdar (Nathan Petrelli), Noah Gray-Cabey (Micah Sanders), Leonard Roberts (DL Hawkins), Ali Larter (Niki/Jessica Sanders), Tawny Cypress (Simone Deveaux), Hayden Panettiere (Claire Bennett), Greg Grunberg (Matt Parkman), Sendhil Ramamurthy (Mohinder Suresh) and Jack Coleman (Horn Rimmed Glasses Man/Mr. Parkman). The cast watched the episode with us which was cool.

After, they only answered a handful of questions, mostly because each answered and there were a ton of people up there. But here are my impressions. Santiago is cute. Didn't say much, but he's pretty and has a hot accent, so can I really ask for more? I've loved Adrian Pasdar for years (Near Dark, anyone?) and I'm happy to say he's just as handsome in person. Plus, he told a cute story about his son which made us all 'Awwwwww.' And he's married to a Dixie Chick. He rules. Noah is adorable. Leonard will always be "Forrest" to me, and he seems like a nice guy. He has three audition suits (for cop, lawyer, and doctor.) Heh. I couldn't put my finger on Ali. Seems really down to earth, yet...blonde. Don't get me wrong, she seems very cool. Kinda hippiesh. In a good way. Tawny Cypress is 1/2 black. I love her simply for that. Hayden is a little chatterbox. Too cute. Funniest guys of the night by far were Greg and Jack. Both kept cracking jokes. Sendhil's rendition of his interview process was hilarious.

But the funniest event of the night was this poor girl in the audience who started to sneeze. Those cute, brief, kinda quiet sneezes that won't stop. She must have sneezed 15 - 20 times. Everyone ended up staring at her and the Q&A kinda ground to a halt. Poor thing.

I did not win the autographed Heroes comic book. But I guess that's alright. I had oodles of fun anyway.
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I slept the day away today, and I didn't even mean to (unlike most weekends). Ah well, nothing to do about it now.

I saw Babel last night. Really good movie and really sad. There must be some irony in that we are such a global world now and yet it seems that true communication hasn't improved at all.

I also watched "Imprint". This was the installment of Masters of Horror that was pulled from Showtime. At the time, I wondered - 'how bad could it be that a pay-cable station wouldn't air the show?' Now I know. Really, really bad. Everytime I thought I'd seem the most disgusting, disturbing image ever, another crazy thing would happen. I should have known - it is Takashi Miike. I can only imagine Standards & Practices at Showtime watching the episode and sitting there all 'oh hell no. There's no way we can air this.' That must have been a fun meeting.
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Dinkin' Flicka

In our (my) celebrity obsessed culture, it's sometimes easy to forget that the people we see on our television and in movie theatres are just normal folk doing their job. Okay, I'll quit waxing philosophically. I got to meet several cast members of The Office (US) today! And, they were all awesome.

My job had a Q&A session with Rainn Wilson, Jenna Fischer, John Krasinski, and B.J. Novak. All were extremely funny and genuinely nice people. I even got to take a pic with John and B.J. Something I normally wouldn't stick around to do, but the opportunity presented itself so I thought 'what the hell'. What struck me was how they all realized how lucky they were to be on a hit show. Actually, to be on any show at all. To be working at something that they love. None of them take themselves or their newfound fame seriously, and since I tend to be around others who do so love to remind people of 'who they are', it was a refreshing change.
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Ha Ha, Real Funny Motherfucker

I love that Eddie Murphy's "Delirious", made in 1983, still holds up today.

I've been in a crappy mood for over a week now. Irritated, mildly angry, tired. Maybe I need to up my meds.

I actually have stuff to do this week. I'm not sure how I feel about that. A "Slither" screening and Q&A tomorrow, "The Prestige" on Friday, and a "The Office" Q&A at my job on Saturday. I saw "Flags of our Fathers" last week. Great movie. It wasn't what I thought it would be, which is a good thing. I was so proud of Ryan Phillippe - he's actually grown somewhat as an actor. Adam Beach was excellent as usual. Even the inexplicable Paul Walker sighting didn't lessen my enjoyment. Gotta enjoy the pretty. I doubt there will be any acting noms (except maybe for Adam Beach), but I wouldn't be surprised if Clint Eastwood received another Academy nomination.

Maybe I'll go soak in the tub. I got some nice bath stuff at Babeland. (Yes, only I could go to an adult entertainment store and come out with something I could buy at Target.)

I'm also once again obsessed with General Hospital. GH, I thought I quit you back in 2002. Why am I back on the crackpipe??
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